new zealand: epilogue
a month ago i thought this would be a loving eulogy; a fortnight ago a furious rant; with under a day left here, a mood of reflective apathy has taken me, so here goes.new zealand is seriously overrated and obscenely overpriced. i was never so naive to expect that it was going to be anything like asia, although maybe the sheer culture shock provoked a greater sense of disappointment then may have been justified. the normal cost of living, buying food in the supermarket or bus tickets, is high: not just compared to the third world, but relative to england, and also apparently the states and scandinavia. you can cope with this with relative good grace: the external factors affecting the economy of a travel destination just have to be accepted. what is disgusting is the greedy, financially insatiable, nature of the tourist and travel industry here. tourism is absolutely crucial to the kiwi economy, and they bleed as much out of their visitors as they can. the prices for activities, ostensibly aimed at backpackers, are outrageous: but then maybe backpackers here are a different breed to what i'm used to. i thought they just looked nicer, but that facade must be representative of a relative affluence... if people didn't fork out $150 each day for some hairbrained activity the prices would have to come down.
the high prices would be more tenable if the country was as spectacular as the brochures would have you believe, but it's not. this really caught me by surprise, as, intoxicated by post lord of the rings euphoria, i thought aoteora was going to be home to some genuinely world class sights. what it is home to is a remarkably effective breed of public relations staff: 400m hills are called mounts, 3m trickles are called falls... the delusionally self aggrandising nature of this place goes right down to the core of the country. it is true that if you only have a short time and want to see a bit of everything this place is amazing: in a few days you can cover mountains, beaches, volcanoes, cultures. but if you stop and look carefully you suddenly realise that the individual parts are actually very average: the 3000m southern alps are nothing compared to the himalaya, or even the real alps, the most vaunted beaches wouldn't make a thai postcard, and maori artwork looks like christmas cracker trinkets when compared to the real deal in angkor or macchu pichu.
this place also has crap weather, crap food, and crap beer: actually that's not fair, it just is no better than the uk. i'm not quite sure why we put up with so much shit, because we get the one month summer they do here, and our cuisine is certainly better than just putting everything conceivable into a pie.
on a personal note, i have to admit it that i am now a complete travel snob. this sanitary experience is just not for me: if i'm not spending nineteen hours with my head pressed between a chicken and a jackfruit, or sweating from the exertion of getting out of bed, it just doesn't seem worth leaving home: or certainly not this far, for this long.
bizarrely, i have actually enjoyed myself. once you take travelling here for what it is, an extended 18-30 holiday, it's a lot of fun. i like drunken silliness as much as the next man, and some of the japes i've had, and the people i've had them with (paddy, charlie and the germans in the south island, andy, ailish and the rotorua xmas crew, will, tara, nissan maraika, naomi and laddie in paihia), have been an absolute pleasure. but i can do all that in england, where i know equally wonderful people: i don't go travelling to do what i do at home.
i'm not quite sure who would come here; if you like the safety go travelling in europe, it's cheaper and better, especially once you factor in the air fare here; if you want to really get on it go to south america or asia; if you just haven't got any friends get one of those subscriptions to an internet dating site. any other plans then maybe... but if you are disappointed don't blame me.
ps i don't care how good the all blacks are, you've not been champions of the world for years. get over it!
posted by bicrom @ 2:31 am
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